Will I keep getting my share of the military pension if my ex dies?
No. Military retired pay stops when the retiree dies, and a former spouse's share of it stops at the same moment. The pension does not pass to a spouse, an ex-spouse, or children. The only continuation that exists is the Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP), an annuity the decree has to secure separately, and the step that makes it real has a one-year deadline that people miss constantly.
What SBP is
SBP is the pension's life insurance: elected coverage that pays a surviving beneficiary 55% of the covered base amount for life, in exchange for premiums deducted from retired pay. A divorce decree can require the member to elect former spouse coverage, and for the ex-spouse of a retiree it is the only way any part of that income stream survives the retiree's death.
If your settlement gives you a share of the pension and says nothing about SBP, you hold an income that ends the day your ex dies. For a long retirement that risk is small; for your retirement security it is not.
The one-year deadline that destroys awards
Here is the trap. A decree ordering former-spouse SBP does not, by itself, put the coverage in place. The member is supposed to file the election, and if they do not, federal law lets the former spouse file a deemed election directly with the pay center, but only if the request arrives within one year of the date of the court order. Miss that year and the coverage can be lost even though the decree plainly awards it.
The member is on the same one-year clock, measured from the decree, which is the part people do not expect. A cooperative ex who simply files late costs you the annuity as surely as one who never files at all. The two filings also go to different offices inside DFAS: theirs to Retired and Annuitant Pay, yours on DD Form 2656-10 to the Garnishment Law Directorate.
So the sequence is: decree orders former-spouse SBP, the member files the election, and you verify with DFAS in writing that it is on file, treating the one-year mark as your own deadline rather than trusting anyone else's paperwork. This belongs on the same list as the unfiled QDRO: a classic thing discovered years later, at the worst possible moment, except this one has a statutory cutoff.
Remarriage and SBP
A former spouse's SBP annuity is suspended by remarriage before age 55, and can resume if that marriage ends. Remarry at or after 55 and the annuity is unaffected. Notice the contrast with the pension share itself, which survives remarriage entirely, and with 20/20/20 TRICARE, which remarriage ends for good. Three benefits, three different remarriage rules, and conflating them is how bad decisions get made.
What it costs, and who pays
Premiums come out of the retired pay itself, which effectively shares the cost between you in proportion to the division unless the decree allocates it differently. That allocation is negotiable, and like everything else in the decree, it only exists if somebody writes it in. One more drafting note: SBP has one beneficiary slot for spouse-type coverage, so a remarried member cannot cover both a current spouse and a former spouse. Whoever the election names, wins.
The children's version
SBP child coverage exists and can ride alongside or instead of spouse-type coverage. Children do not inherit the pension itself, ever, so if the decree intends the kids to be protected, it has to say so through SBP terms.
SBP is federal (10 U.S.C. §§1448-1450) and the deemed-election deadline is statutory, so no state court can forgive missing it. If your decree awards former-spouse SBP, confirming the election is on file at DFAS is worth doing this month, whatever else is pending.