Should I sign a quitclaim deed so my ex can refinance?
Not until their refinance has closed. A quitclaim deed transfers your ownership the moment it is delivered to and accepted by the other side, not when it is recorded. Recording is what puts the world on notice; handing over a signed, notarized deed is what gives up the interest. Do not sign one and pass it across on the understanding that you are still protected until it is filed. It has no effect whatsoever on the mortgage. Sign it early and, if the refinance never happens, you are left liable for a loan on a house you no longer own any part of.
That combination is the worst outcome available in this whole area, and it is reached by being cooperative at the wrong moment.
What a quitclaim actually does
It transfers whatever interest you have in the property to someone else. That is all. It does not pay off a loan, remove a borrower, or tell a lender anything.
Your mortgage is a separate contract with a bank that was not part of your divorce. Usually only refinancing, selling, or a lender-approved assumption removes you from it. There are exceptions worth asking your lender about directly: VA loans can release a spouse on the decree plus a recorded quitclaim without an assumption, and FHA can process a divorce assumption without a credit review where the spouse staying on title is also still living there and has made the payments for at least six months. A servicer refusing outright is worth a complaint rather than treating as the end of it. The deed, the mortgage, and the title are three different things, and this is the moment that distinction costs real money.
Why you are being asked
Usually for a legitimate reason. A lender refinancing the house into one person's name generally wants clean title, so they ask for the other spouse's interest to be released. Title companies raise it as routine paperwork, which is exactly why it gets signed without much thought.
The request being normal does not make the timing safe.
The safe sequence
Sign at closing, not before. The deed and the new loan should be handled together, so ownership transfers at the same moment the debt does. Title companies do this constantly.
Or put it in escrow, held and only recorded when the refinance funds.
Or make it conditional in the decree. Language saying you will sign upon proof that the refinance has closed, with a deadline and a consequence if it does not. If your decree is silent on the sequence, that is worth fixing before you sign anything.
What you should not do is sign a deed today against a promise to refinance next month. If the lender declines them, the promise is worthless and you have already given up the asset.
If you already signed
You are not without options, but they are harder, so raise it quickly.
Look for a refinance deadline in your decree, since that is what you enforce against. A court can order a sale but cannot order a bank to lend, which shapes what the remedy realistically looks like. Meanwhile monitor the loan, because their missed payment is still your credit.
The other thing to check first
A quitclaim can carry consequences beyond the divorce, depending on where you live and how the property is held. In some places transferring an interest can be treated as a gift, affect community property characterization, or interact with tax basis when the house is eventually sold.
Check the papers that started your case, too. About a third of states put an automatic order in place the moment a divorce is filed, and most of those orders restrict transferring property while the case is open. That does not mean you can never sign, but it can mean the transfer needs to be in the decree or agreed on the record first.
Two tax points, both narrow and both expensive if they apply to you. A transfer between spouses in a divorce is normally not taxed, but that protection drops away if the spouse receiving the property is not a US resident, and the transfer can then be taxable to the one giving it up. The protection is also tied to the divorce itself, so a deed left unsigned for years after the decree can fall outside it. If either describes your situation, get tax advice before you sign.
None of that is a reason to refuse. It is a reason to have someone look at the document before it is recorded rather than after, because a recorded deed is difficult to undo.
What a quitclaim does to your interest, how transfers are characterized, and what tax basis follows the property all vary by state. This is a short document with permanent effects, so have a licensed family-law attorney review it before you sign, not after.