I was served divorce papers. What do I do now?
Do not ignore them, and find out how long you have to respond. That deadline is the only genuinely urgent thing in the envelope, it is measured in days rather than weeks, and letting it pass is the one mistake here that is expensive and hard to undo.
Almost everything else can wait a few days while you catch your breath. This one cannot.
What happens if you do nothing
If you do not respond in time, your spouse can ask the court for a default judgment. That means the case proceeds without you, and the terms they asked for can be granted because nobody argued otherwise. Property, support, and a parenting schedule can all be decided while you are not in the room.
It is not quite automatic. Your spouse still has to request the default and prove their case, and they cannot be awarded more than the petition asked for. Child support and custody get decided against state guidelines and a best-interests review either way. What you lose by not responding is your account of the finances and your proposal for the children.
Defaults can sometimes be undone, but it means asking a judge to reopen something already decided, which costs money, takes time, and is not guaranteed. Responding on time is enormously cheaper than fixing a default. There are deadlines on asking, too, but they vary by state and by the reason you are asking, and some of them run for a year or more, so if a date has already passed do not conclude on your own that it is settled. Ask.
How long you have
The deadline is set by the state where the case was filed, and it varies. So does how it is counted, which trips people up more than the number does. The days are calendar days, weekends and holidays included, but the clock does not always start when the papers reach you: New York's runs from when service is legally complete, which for substituted service is ten days after the server files proof, and Texas's lands on the Monday following the twentieth day.
Two places give you the real answer. The papers themselves usually state it, often on the summons in language like "you have X days to file a response." And your court's self-help center, if your court has one, will confirm it for free, in person or by phone. They are neutral and not confidential, but a deadline is exactly the kind of procedural question they are there for. If the papers and your own arithmetic disagree, believe the court.
The three things worth doing this week
Read the whole packet, including the parts that look like boilerplate. Some states attach automatic restraining orders to a divorce filing the moment it is served, which can restrict moving money, changing insurance, or taking children out of state. Those apply to both of you, they are already in effect, and violating one without knowing it exists is a bad way to start. They are also not as absolute as they sound: normal living expenses and ordinary business carry on, and you can use marital or your own money to hire a lawyer. It is unusual spending that is restricted, and some states require you to tell your spouse several days before making it, so read the actual order in your packet rather than guessing at what it covers.
Write down the date you were served. Not approximately. Every deadline in the case counts from it, and you will be asked.
Get one consultation before you respond. An hour with a family-law attorney in your state, before you file anything, is the cheapest insurance available in this entire process. Preparing for that meeting properly roughly doubles what you get out of the hour.
What being served does not mean
It does not mean your spouse has already won something, or that the terms in the petition are what you will end up with. A petition is what one person is asking for. It is an opening position, not an outcome.
It also does not mean you have to fight. Plenty of cases that begin with formal service settle by agreement. Responding on time keeps every option open, including the amicable ones. Not responding is what closes them.
Response deadlines, how they are counted, and whether automatic restraining orders attach on filing all vary by state. Confirm yours with your court's self-help center or a licensed family-law attorney where the case was filed, and do it before the date on the papers.